today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
