I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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