i just google imaged poop.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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