Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
