so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
