Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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