He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
