Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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