All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
