Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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