With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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