Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
