Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize