Dual....:-)
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
