with your own penis?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize