sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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