Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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