I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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