Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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