you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
