I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
