oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
