did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize