He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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