so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
