We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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