I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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