his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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