And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My cat gives me a boner
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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