Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
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