i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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