You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
