You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
