I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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