ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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