so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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