You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
