If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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