i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
