i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
