yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
