the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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