we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
