If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize