Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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