also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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