yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
