Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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