are you still at the devil's house?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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