Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
