do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
