Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
