Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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