if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
