Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
