he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
