the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
