But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
