hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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